1. If someone were to tell you they like you right now, would you care?
-- yeah, i'd care. pero depende pa kung sino e...
2. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for
-- yep. operative word: fell (past tense. tapos na.)
3. Where did you last sleep other than your house?
-- sa plane (over a month ago pa. haha)
4. Do you have a best friend?
-- i have best friendS
5. Do you smoke?
-- yep. i'll quit when i'm 30. pramis.
6. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
-- absolutely. i was broken hearted and devastated. last year yun.
7. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
-- my ex. tapos sabi ko that was the last time na iiyakan ko sya.
8. Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
-- at home. bored. and tired. i wanna sleep.
9. What are you listening to?
-- Closer to You by The Wallflowers
10. When will your next kiss be?
-- no idea. i can't even remember when the last one was...
11. Where do you keep your money?
-- my wallet and between the pages of books on my shelf
12. Do you love someone right now?
-- define love. haha. but no, i'm not in love with anyone right now. teka, counted ba si carmen sa L-word? haha.
13. Do you like someone right now?
-- i like a lot of people. haha. pero boards muna. saka na ang girls.
14. Who was the last person to call you pretty?-
-- myself. haha. :)
15. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
-- oo naman. pag duty. kahit sino tinatabihan ko pag inaantok ako.
16. Where did your last hug take place?
-- sat nyt in my car. i'm not really a hugging kind of person.
17. Where were you at 3:02am?
-- at home, staring at my ceiling praying for sleep to come.
19. How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
-- haha. sister ko? humingi ako ng pera kasi naiwan ko wallet ko sa bahay.
20. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
-- uh-huh. :)
21. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
-- yep. pang-DOM yung tint ng car ko e. para daw sa mga may masamang balak. 
22. Who did you last go out to eat with?
-- C2 with my ex. (friendly dinner, pramis.)
23. Do you have unlimited texts?
-- nope.
25. When is the last time you took a nap?
-- sunday afternoon in my lolo's hospital room.
26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
-- my mom. siya na lang daw magdadala ng money sakin sa coffee shop.
27. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
-- i used to hide them. but i've been very vocal the past few months.
28. Do you wear glasses?
-- nope. but i want to. and i used to.
29. What are you looking forward to in the next month?
-- i can't really say i'm looking forward to the board exams so my answer would have to be my birthday. (which incidentally falls on the 3rd day of my exams)
30. The way to win your heart?
-- honesty.
31. how was your weekend?
-- boring...
32. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
-- nope.
33. What are you like when you're drunk?
-- i vomit a lot. haha. the wonders of allergies...
34. The last person you fought with?
-- i can't remember...
35. What were you doing last night at 10pm?
-- sitting inside a coffee shop reading high-yield principles of internal medicine
36. How long is your hair?
-- short. and i'm due for a haircut.
37. Last text message received?
-- a forwarded joke.
38. Name what's on your mind right now?
-- boards! boards! boards!
39. What were you last listening to?
-- before Closer to You? i guess it was Forget her by Jeff Buckley
40. When was the last time you sang out loud?
-- a few seconds ago. kebs kung out of tune. :)
41. What do you really want right now?
-- a big fat juicy steak that still bleeds when you cut it...
42. When was the last time you got yelled at?
-- i can't remember this one too
43. Who do you really want to see right now?
-- my friends and my crushies. haha.
44. Are you a player?
-- no. never. but i've had several lapses in judgement...
45. Who was the last person you slept in a bed with?
-- counted ba laptop ko? i gave her a name. haha. oo, babae ang laptop ko. :)

whew! that was long. but it was fun. yes, i'm that bored. life has become a monotony of enzymes, drugs, diseases, symptoms and medical jargon that i think i'm flippin' out. i need a real break. seriously. :)

eto po ang epitome ng wasak. haha. after several shots of god knows what and few bottles of beer, i always end up flushed, tachycardic and edematous (regardless of the anti-histamines i prophylactically take before my drinking spree). and yes, i need a haircut. :) mas maayos ako in person, i swear...

i've been single for a year

the first time since high school

what did that song say again?

yeah, i remember:

"i'm putting my heart back together..."

let's celebrate. :)

You are gone. And so is the I when I was with you.

Just like everything we were:

the starbucks we used to study in,
the vietnamese place we loved,
the apartment we lived in.

Compacted and stowed away

Everything has been engulfed by time

and eaten away by my unconscious

the stories, the songs, the love -- all forgotten

To be remembered every once in a while

but never relived nor regaled. not by me.

fade. fading. faded.

finally.

In lieu of a better post, i've decided that its about time i finally came up with a top 10 listing of something of significance (to myself, that is).

MY TOP 10 MOVING ON SONGS:

10. Go On Girl - Ne-Yo

9.  Better In Time - Leona Lewis 

8. Remember the Moments - D'Sound

7.Gotta Get Through This - Daniel Bedingfield

6. Let Go - Frou Frou

5. Doin' Just Fine - Boyz 2 Men 

4. Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional

3. The Fighting Is Over - UrbanDub

2.  It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects

1. Over You - Daughtry

*I'd gladly send you an mp3 of any or all of the songs. just let me know and leave at least a way for me to contact you and we can figure out the details. ;) 

here's the thing: i've been browsing through the archives of this blog lately and i've realized how much has changed for me in the past year. i've gone from downright sappy to plain and simple boring to mundanely depressed. and i've learned an awful lot about myself.(both good and bad things, really.)

i find it amazing how one person, one event, one song or event one moment can turn your life around completely. well, its happened before (when aphro and i were first together) and its happened again (my recent break up) and i'm sure it'll happen over and over again.

a friend of mine said that i should first become the hulk before i can become the 'incredible' hulk. this, after i told her about the things i've done the past year that i didn't know that i could do and i was ashamed that i did do. so it got me thinking: does the worst really bring out the best in people?

the first time i've been single in over 10 years. this is actually the first time that i can shop for myself, go out with my friends as often as i want to, meet up with people at the weirdest places and times, go on first dates, have flings, etc. i think i've missed the 'dating around' phase since i've always been in serious relationships my entire life.

no, i'm not sourgraping or anything like that. its just that i've been enjoying a lot of things lately that i know i wouldn't be enjoying if i had a partner. of course, i do miss the being a part of a couple and having someone to have your back whenever things didn't go your way. i miss the sappy love messages, couple photos, the constant date and foodtrip buddy, celebrating anniversaries, the cuddling and all the things that come with having a special someone in my life. yeah, of course i miss it. who wouldn't? there are some boring nights when i just wished that a friend would set me up with someone so i can get that high that would make me, well, high. ;) but i also realized that i could get most of these things (except the cuddling and love stuff. haha.) without a girlfriend. surprisingly, being single doesn't sound so bad after all.

i've been given the chance to grow. and feel. and embrace the feelings. and just when i thought i've hit my rock bottom, my friends have pulled through for me. it feels like so sex-and-the-cityish, i know. but if there's one thing constant in my life, i know that its them. and without this break up, i would have missed out on a lot.

so there. i guess, all i'm saying is, this is a new and improved, reformulated, repackaged me. the bruises on my ego are almost healed and the cracks on my heart are barely noticeable.  regardless of the storm outside, i feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. haha. a bit of a stretch, i know, but you get my drift, right?

no more depressed, psycho, guilt-laden, pity washed posts that would make you feel nothing but sorry for me. its all better now. and thank you for sticking by me as i went through with it.

so, who's up for that date? ;)             

squeeze it out, squish-squash

juice it drop by drop

---

turn on the blender

swirl, splash, splat...

turn off the blender

pour

on the glass

d

r

o

p

by

d

r

o

p

leave nothing

drink it all.

forget.

and start anew.

Crying

kd lang

 

I was alright for a while
I could smile for a while
Then i saw you last night
You held my hand so tight
When you stopped to say hello
You wished me well, you couldn't tell

That i'd been crying over you
Crying over you
Then you said so long
And left me standing all alone
Alone and crying

Crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand
That the touch of your hand
Can start me crying

I thought that i was over you
But it's true, so true
I love you even more than i did before
But darling what can i do?
No you don't love me and i'll always be

Crying over you
Crying over you
Yes, now you're gone
And from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying,
Crying, crying, over you